i found out that i hate having to do things i dont want to or like to do.. and the funny thing is when im forced to it, i do the work but half heartedly.. now for the reason why this is funny.. i do it half heartedly cos i hold a grudge against the person who is forcing me to do the thing i hate.. n since i hold a grudge against him i must not and will not let him see my full potential and my ability to do things.

i have seen that im good at almost anything i do.. even if i dont like it.. my basic pillar is laziness.. im very lazy and choose lazing over almost anything else.. so when im pushed to work.. i do it as fast as i can.. which means i hvta to it pretty well.. cos not doin it well may lead to having to do it again.. n thus i get to laze again once im done with the work.
i value the time i get to laze away.. but goin to back to what i wanted to say.. i hate letting ppl noe im talented at something i dont like doin.. but i have too much of an ego not to do it well even if i try it half heartedly..
its weird and unusually perhaps.. but really at the end of the day nothing really matters too much to me.. i dont care about most ppl.. and now im immune to anything ppl do or say.. i absolutely hate ppl and make make only circumstantial frnds.. ppl who are around me all the time will become frnds with me so long they stay near me.. dats all.. sometimes i try keepin in touch with ppl.. but i do get drained.. but i have seen it reward me too.. but only very rarely.. ppl are usually just junk.