We forget
the little tokens,
the tiny nuances
the real interactions
a wink, a wave, a smile.
Here, mere transactions -
click, clack and don’t look back.
It’s all pretend but you, you are real
and I thank you stranger
for taking this time and keepin' it brief
for here, now
I feel reel
too.
--
i know its not very good, but i also know its sensible and i felt it.
when i first saw Cidade de Deus, i was intrigued. i read about it. it exists, its real. i was freaked, but then when i saw that the movie dealt with the situation so casually that i thought their would be something more degrading to humans that Cidade de Deus. The poor slums were relocated to a completely isolated crime infested place they called the City of God. what a name.
but would you believe me if i said that there are places with better names. there is a garbage dump in brazil. its called the Isle of Flowers. Extremely poetic name, the isle is owned by a guy who uses the dump to feed pigs. hes a good person, so for charity he feeds the poor children and women. he makes groups of ten and he lets them choose food in the dump, food which he feels is unsuitable for the pigs. yes, humans choosing from the organic matter the pigs refuse to eat, what the owner feels may harm his pigs.
ive seen pigs eat absolutely anything and everything, so what exactly is unsuitable for pigs? what is it that they dont eat? its freaky, its still considered normal, how things look so differently from the outside. i wonder if i also do things that are considered absolutely degrading from the outside. im sure i must be, but still.
i was also thinkin, even garbage pickers are better off, firstly they have the upper hand compared to pigs, here pigs get to choose first, lick and smell everything before humans get to even look at their dinner. plus garbage pickers can push any other animal away, the isle is just cruel.
when i tell this story to anyone, they always realise that whats happening is that humans are degraded way below pigs and that none of us will be willin to exist that way. everyone understand this but the owner and the poor scavengers. it gives me the shivers the imagine a place where its considered okay and normal. but i guess we all can be like that, if we are pushed.
**
i was also thinkin, mostly because i have a lot of free time in class, weather we should let any moment in our life be more important than large parts of our lives. its weird, but so many of us spend most of our time waiting for that one moment above all others, but is it worth it, how long will the moment even stay with us?
i also fear stagnating on one moment, living for and with moment. many people like it too, striving for one moment and achieving what they want, but i feel that it makes a person very limited and curtails all his experiences. im a kind of person who wants to try evrything and then let it go if i like it too much. sounds and is absurd but i cant cling on to anything i like too much for too long. everything is short lived, and i think that makes it long lasting and more memorable. i believe that what you experience when you start something is very different after you use it continuously. may it be people or things i like to do, nothing really excites me for too long, which makes me pretty much a rollin stone. i dont know if i proud of it, but i dont think im goin to find that one thing and all, infact im pretty doubtful of that one person also :(
anyway, so i think i should do many things n have fun in general, i want to have sometime in life when i cant be forced to do anything. im not sure whan that will be ha.
i think so. i think that every man is capable of being dark and bad and committing heinous crimes that go beyond boundaries of cultures and countries. i also think that it is what separates the sane from the insane. we all feeling like falling off the edge and many of us are driven there but i guess the prime difference is not falling, hanging on and waiting. i like the whole set up where you wait, you wait for the worst to pass and see whats happenin. its useful if you know whats the worst consequence and if you can let it happen and then make your move. its sounds and is awfully cool. you wait, you dont do anything till the very end. all you havta do is follow the story, see whats happening, maintain a list of things that you dont want to be happenin and watch. its awfully cool to play the last hand and win it. let everyone play their hands and believe that they have won, wait and then kill their ecstasy. its great when it works, its almost like the guy can control more things than an ordinary guy and looks great from an outside perspective. but thats that. its too risky and even though it gives quite a high, its very hard to be consistent at it. its worth it though, even if you hit it once in ten times.
i think that pain and sadness is very beautiful too, sometimes i feel sad and it brings me down and make me believe even more strongly that sadness is a great leveler. like what ive written before, i do enjoy the fall while lookin back at it. i think its very useful, the fall, and i feel its very important not to fall the same way again and again. in every adversity too lies opportunity, an opportunity to understand your weakness and study the fall. i also think that no matter where you are, no matter how far you are from where you want to be, its vital to make the most of where ever you are. its a lesson that i learnt the hard way, but i learnt it and im glad i did. its difficult to enjoy the very thing you hate, and im not exactly proposing that, its more like making the most even in a situation in which you are surrounded by things you dont like.
the other day i was wondering how would we look at this world if we thought/ were told this was heaven. it would certainly be a nice experiment, would people still want more, would we still think of the beyond, and still be unhappy and still fight? are we indeed capable of living in an Utopian world and capable of sustaining a world of our dreams? will we all be happy and peaceful if we all got what we wanted? forget creating an Utopian world, i am kinda sure that we cant live in one, not unless we change, but if we change a lot more is possible, no?
i heard this song called "Can Anyone Who Has Heard This Music Really Be a Bad Person?" i really liked the song, and it made think about how do artists feel if their work is misinterpreted and misused. it would be very very hurting to find yourself responsible for someone elses life. but its weird, if we can bring in more people in the category of artists, include scientists and writers and news guys, we land up shoving responsibility on others. we can hold news reporters for showing wrong news and writers for corrupting minds. that way we can blame everything on others. i think and stand by what i think, that its wrong to hold anyone else completely responsible for something you have done. the action is yours, no matter how much ever influenced, and it is you who has been influenced by it.
too much load for one day. even if its come after a long long time.
Well, the first one cant be embedded cos of some privacy issues, anyway go watch it on the tube. its awesome. the song is lovely and the singer is special.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
the 2nd one is just the craziest piece of swing bowling i have ever seen, yes the pitch and conditions were crazy too, but still, everyone has crazy days.
Next one shows a girl called Neda killed in Iran during the protests against the election. Worth every bit of rage it caused. Viewer discretion advised wala video hai :P
My fav fav, best song ever :D
nice simple video of shark vs octopus.
okay turns out some people can be crazy and random wit absolutely anyone. im not completely like that, some people bring out the best in me. here is a convo wit a crazy buddy of mine, named TG. And she's kinda my back up wifey :D
Shes just so awesome.. there are only an handful of people i can go this berserk wit. Just so awesome :)
im "im an asymptote", shes TG.
--
im an asymptote says:
baby
TG says:
GAY!
im an asymptote says:
baby baby
haha
TG says:
GAY GAY
*snorts*
im an asymptote says:
whats up?
u still work?
TG says:
??
im an asymptote says:
arrey u had a job na
some stupid low paying yet non menial job?
TG says:
lol
stopped working in like may last year
im an asymptote says:
oh
so now ur all free?
only some classes na?
nothing but thoda thoda coll work?
TG says:
yeah
im an asymptote says:
nice nice
TG says:
no college
im an asymptote says:
no coll also/
?
fulltoo free time?
masti yaar
oh sorry masti baby
TG says:
okay
you're sober or drunk?
im an asymptote says:
sober
hehe
i can get high without drinkin
im in that mood now
TG says:
okay
im an asymptote says:
im a bullet
i will peirce ur heart
my love.
haw sounds cool na?
im a bullet
i will peirce ur heart
my love.
haw sounds cool na?
there?
TG says:
TG says:
noo
TG says:
if you peirce my heart..i think...I THINK I SHALL DIE
TG says:
DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE????
im an asymptote says:
no no
just a way to show my love darling
TG says:
SURE
im an asymptote says:
haha
lol
i cant stop laughing
lol
TG says:
why can't you stop laughing?
nice way anyway to show me your love by wanting me dead...
all the lover boys should take some "vishesh tipinis" from you
im an asymptote says:
haha
what else can a bullet do?
it can stuck in a wall
or it can kill some one
or peirce the heart of its lover
TG says:
english...
*snorts*
im an asymptote says:
but im a bullet
and i love you
i know i type bherry badly
TG says:
horrendous would be an understatement
im an asymptote says:
but my love
im a bullet
TG says:
oh shutup with your love and bullet
im an asymptote says:
n i cant help it
TG says:
well..you will have to
im an asymptote says:
hwo, my love, how?
how*
lol
its like my typos
i cant be changed
its part of who i am
TG says:
SHUTUP!!!!!
im an asymptote says:
i am a bullet
TG says:
YOU ARE ANNOYING!!!!
im an asymptote says:
ur the only person in the whole world
to whom i can talk like this
it makes me soo happy
TG says:
ARGH!!!
im an asymptote says:
tell thank you
TG says:
i like the mumbai raghu!
rourkela makes you bevadaa
im an asymptote says:
lol
its the same raghu. darling, i just happen to be a bullet
TG says:
i will block you if you don't stop with the nonsense
im an asymptote says:
oh god.
block me with a wall and ill get stuck in it
cause.. you know
im a bullet
TG says:
when are you next coming to bombay???
im an asymptote says:
okay ill stop
dunno
maybe march
but surely may
TG says:
good...we should meet up so that i can shoot you and peirce a bullet into your mouth!
and fingers as well
im an asymptote says:
you know one day anisha n i had a convo like thins
about some plants in our homes
TG says:
i pity her
im an asymptote says:
it was soo hillarious
some osho n zoan
crazy
TG says:
no wonder sometimes she bitches about you!
and i used to go like, now why would she say such mean things about such a nice guy?
now i know why!
i know that convo
im an asymptote says:
haha
thanks for the compliment
see how nice i am
TG says:
well, i was sadly mistaken about your niceness
im an asymptote says:
thank you ma'm
i shall surely remember your favour, i will make it a point to help you whenever you need it maa'm
TG says:
erm..okay
i need help right now
i need to kill some guy called raghuraman rangarajan in rourkela
im an asymptote says:
what may i do for you, maa'm?
no maa'm, that cant be done
that man is very dangerous
he is a bullet
TG says:
first your bullshit about bullets and now about ma'am!
no life you have got or what?
im an asymptote says:
you are my life, my loving wife
im such a romantic poet
TG says:
going to start with "wife my life" now???
im an asymptote says:
im saving this convo to show to anny
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